The Politics of Decomposing

With sixty senators over sixty,  the current American Senate is the oldest in history. Permanent guest host Mio Adilman and regular host Matt Zimbel do a deep dive into why our politicians are decomposing, right in front of us.   This podcast never gets old!

Transcript

 This is Yes, We Canada a commercial and sponsor free independent podcast that depends on your support.  You can subscribe for as little as three dollars a month by going to Yes We Canada slash buzzsprout.com and hit the donate button. You can cancel whenever you want. Ok, let’s Yes We Canada and chill…

Lisa: This is the Yes We Canada Podcast the Progressives Guide to Getting the Fuck out.  

Hey, I’m Matt Zimbel in Toronto with our permanent guest host Mio Adilman. Welcome Mio.

Mio: Great to never see you.

MZ: It’s good to have you in studio, we rarely get to speak to each other on the pod cuz as guest host …when you’re up… I’m out. But today’s subject is so delicate, so infused with potential accusations of ageism and other micro aggressions against our elders…that the editorial team thought it would take two of us to wrestle it to the ground equitably.  Today we’re talking about our elder leaders and the fact that they appear to be… decomposing right in front of us. 

Mio: You’ve probably heard the expression; “If you’re not a liberal when you’re young, you don’t have a heart, if you’re not conservative when you’re old, you don’t have a brain”.  

MZ: A complaint you often hear from progressives about conservatives is that they are trying to turn the clock back, to a “simpler” time, to a Norman Rockwell painting of white folks with white picket fences and freckles. They like things the way they were…not the way they could be. 

Mio:  Plus, many conservative societies are deeply religious, and draw their guidance from teachings written centuries ago. 

MZ:  Quite a few politicians are now living for close to a century… and refusing to leave their bully pulpit no matter how dilapidated their mental capacities become.  And it’s not just on the right… the left is equally guilty of this.

Mio:  Yep, get power, hold power… forever 

MZ:  We finally beat Medicare at the border…well thank god for that

Mio:  Matt it’s kinda like you… like, if you retire, as permanent guest host, I have a pretty decent shot at your gig. 

MZ: I will never go – I will host this pod with half a torso in the ground…I have what’s, um, that word, begins with an s – tip of my tongue – seniority! That’s it.  Watch yourself you young whippersnapper.  

You remember that expression…” politics is show business for ugly people?”

Mio:  Can we say ugly people?

Matt:  Yes, we can I checked they don’t have a lobby group.

Mio:  Ok, for many of the unbeautied, politics is their only shot at being on TV – they love the deference, the attention and the motorcades. 

SFX Quick drive by of a motorcade, sirens, motorcycle swoosh of principal limo – stereo doppler effect might be nice…

Once they get power, they ain’t going anywhere…plus the congressional health care package is banging.  

MZ: and it has to be said that many politicians also genuinely love doing public service- the idea of building what they think is a better society. 

MZ/Mio:  um, uh, yeah ok – yep, maybe…

Mio; Well, Trudeau was dashing and didn’t fit the “show business for ugly people narrative” and he wouldn’t give up power – to what, go back to teaching drama or being a bouncer at a nightclub – both jobs he held before… 

MZ: once you’ve flown private who wants to go back to commercial…

Mio:  once you’ve done a motorcade who wants to go back to grid lock…it’s human nature. 

MZ: But don’t you think it’s also human nature to try to avoid blacking out and crapping in your pants during a nationally televised press conference? 
 Shall we treat ourselves to one of former senate leader Mitch McConnell finer glitchy moments?  

Mio: Better him than me.

MZ.  That’s hard to get a sense of that scene on an audio podcast, so here’s the described video: there was a wrinkled body, in an ill-fitting suit, flanked by flunkies, in front of a battery of microphones, when all of a sudden, mid-sentence, the hard drive started glitching 

MZ: McConnel has been in the senate for 7 terms – Pi can you help us with this one  

Pi:  Yep, a senate term is 6 years 

Pi: Six years times seven terms that’s,  

Pi:  42 years 

MZ: 42 American? 

Pi: yep.

MZ: Thank you Pi.  

Mio: Yep, McConnell is the longest serving senator in Kentucky history. And Kentucky still holds the most dignified place of 34th out of 50 in terms of education out comes  and 46th out of 50 states for quality of health care …

MZ: Give the guy a break it’s only been 42 years. Well, he may not have done much for healthcare and education for the folks of Kentucky – but he did build the most conservative judiciary in the history of the United States, transformed the Supreme Court and called Trump: “practically and morally” responsible for inciting a riot on Jan 6. 

MZ:  And then promptly voted to acquit him. 

Mio; And he’s not running again!  At the spry young age of 83.. he’s bowing out in 2026. 

MZ: God we’ll miss him. But not as much as this Facebook post which was attributed to fellow Republican’s former congress folk Adam Kitzinger and Liz Cheney…but when we went to fact check the source, as we always do on this show, we could not attribute to Cheney Kitzinger …nonetheless, sometimes on the pod – an anonymous  FaceBook post is good enough for us particularly when it’s this poetic :

MZ: Oh, It’s been quite a run, Mitch. Five decades of sucking the life force out of democracy like some kind of turtle-faced Nosferatu, leeching every last drop of decency from the American political system until all that remained was a gangrenous husk of partisan hackery and corporate handouts. You were never a visionary, never a leader—just a slithering, backroom dealmaker with the charisma of a tax audit and the moral compass of a used car salesman running a Ponzi scheme out of a strip mall.

So, farewell, Mitch. May your retirement be long, humiliating, and filled with endless reminders that despite all your efforts, your greatest achievement was being the guy who enabled Trump, only to be discarded like a used napkin.

Happy retirement, you withered old bastard. History will write your obituary in ink as cold as your heart.

At this point, the only good thing that Mitch McConnell will ever pass… is away.

Mio: Ouch…ice cold…And Mitch is not even the oldest senator…Republican Chuck Grassley from Iowa is in his 90’ and of course Senator – Bernie Sanders is getting on… at the spry young age of 83 years. 

MZ:  (Bernie)  let me be clear. We are living in an oligarchic society, and when Elon Musk was given the most important job in government, he cut 83 thousand jobs at Veteran Affairs which will directly effect veteran’s health care. The oligarchs are adopting AI which will throw millions of Americans out of a jobs, while the Republicans are cutting Medicare. 

Mio:  You do a pretty decent impression of an old Jewish man.

MZ: I studied at the Mel Brooks Academy for the elderly. 

Mio: This is the oldest senate in American history … 60 senators are over 60.

MZ; Nancy Pelosi 85, recently ceded the leadership of the Democrats in the House…. But she has not exactly been the voice of renewal for the House Dems.  She opposed  progressive Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez who is 35, in her bid to lead the democrats on the powerful oversight committee.  Instead, Pelosi favored the centrist congressman Jerry Connolly 75, saying he had “seniority” and it was his “turn” even though he was suffering from esophageal cancer and sadly passed away weeks after taking the role. 

Mio; Another recent die in office story was that of California Senator Diane Feinstein. Apparently, she declined so much that leader of the Senate at the time, Chuck Schumer would continually ask her to resign her leadership of the powerful judiciary committee, she would agree but she would never remember the conversations …and kept showing up at Judicary as Madame Chair.  Opps. 

MZ:  well, that’s nothing Strom Thurmond served in the senate until he was 100. 

Mio: Yeah and gave the longest racist speech in history… he filibustered for 24 hours and 18 minutes in 1957 against the civil rights act!  It was once said when he was 100 years old and still serving in the Senate - he didn’t know if he was on foot or on horseback. 

MZ: Damn those southerners they just got the quaintest expressions for their beloved racists …sombitch. 

Mio: When Pelosi left the leadership, Hakim Jefferies took over for the Dems in the House.  They always say that you campaign in poetry and govern in prose but it seems to me that Hakim is governing in poetry.

MZ: Besides he’s a vegan. Which likely means he wouldn’t declare a war.  

Pi: Hitler was a vegetarian. 

MZ: Dude, big aggression difference between a vegetarian and a vegan. 

So, the case is made, politicians get old in office and they don’t want to quit. RBG, Ruth Bader Ginsberg died on the bench even though Obama tried everything he could to get her to step down.  My son used to say that the most important person in Washington was RGB’s oncologist. 

Mio:  So, after Bidens exit and Trumps spastic style of governance … cognition is a big story in DC right now.

MZ Does that sound like someone who is sane?  

When does the lying stop and the cognitive decline start – it’s very hard to say, but right now we’re going to play you a clip that might be a tad long but it’s important to hear the whole clip to fully appreciate the narrative arc of the cognitive decline. 

Mio: So what’s being done about this?  In the US…nadda…In Canada in 1965 Parliament changed the rules of the senate appointments from life,  to 75 years old.

Mz: And they still never want to give up power, Justin Trudeau was a spry 53 and of his full mental capacities, except for the socks and he had to be dragged out of the room. Chretien didn’t want to leave either after three mandates…and at 91 he’s as feisty as ever.  This is what he told Trump in a speech from the Liberal leadership convention. 

MZ: Then he said this:

Mio: I mean don’t we all…Matt if the PMO called and offered you a Senate seat, would you take it. 

MZ: 514-944-5412 – call now operators are standing by.  Damn straight I would…the parking is fabulous. 

MZ: Would you?

Mio: Response

MZ: It’s about time the Japanese Jewish lobby had better representation in the senate don’t you think?  I think you’d be a great senator frankly – smart as a whip and slightly contrarian…If I was PM  I’d appoint you …

Mio: Responds

MZ: oh their both in the Senate

MZ: I’m very intrigued by what is going on at the Democratic National Conference regarding the age of their members in Congress. Back in February a guy named David Hogg was elected to the Vice Chair Role of the DNC.  

Mio: Yeah – his story is interesting… he was in high school in Florida when the Parkland shooting took place, killing 17 of his classmates and injuring 18, in the worst high school mass shooting in American history.  

Hogg was one of the students who started a gun control lobby called Never Again MSD (Marjorie Stonham Douglas School).  

MZ: after learning about the all the sketchy financing the National Rifle Association was funneling to politicians, he started a super PAC called Leaders We Deserve  focused on gun control.  Then he turned his eye towards the democrats and focused on funding primary challenges in districts where the representatives were aging out and not contributing to the party… in favour of younger more progressive challengers.  Well, the “Seniors for the Senile” DNC went crazy and within six months he was a former Vice Chair of the Democratic Party. 

MZ:  …so there is a real resistance in both parties to move towards younger legislators…

MZ And I think what we are going to see is …

Mio: Oh…here we go…

God: Fellas, I was just down the hall in Studio 5 recording my pod God Help Us, …pi hit the boys with the theme will ya:

God: Nice huh …I heard you boys were both in here, thought I’d pop by and say god bless you, god bless you- 

MZ & Mio (respond hello) 

God: Boys, how are your download numbers for the pod?  Mine are off the hook. Apple just loaded my new ap on all the iphones, which is a lot better than the Gideons sticking all those bibles in Motel Sixes around the world. Enough about me what are you podcasters up to today?

MZ:  We’re talking about how our politicians are getting so old they’re decomposing right in front of us, live on TV. 

God:  wouldn’t know… I cut the cable. 

Mio: Well, the latest thing in DC is  politicians over 70  braggin about how they aced the cognitive tests. Aced it! Killed it! I’m an  Inter-llectual!

God:  70, I wish!  …ever heard that expression “when God was a boy”…that’s me they’re talking about…I was a boy, many, many thousands of years ago…but I could still ace a cognitive test, no problem.

Mio:  Really?  You want to take the test? Cuz I have the Montreal cognitive Assessment test right here and it’s supposed to be considered the gold standard. 

God:  Shoot.

MZ Mio, I’m really not sure this makes the best audio – isn’t most of it visual?

God: Shoot, I got my contacts on. 

Mio: Ok.  First question what is the date? 

God:  June 25, 2025 AD – the “AD”stands for after dementia – just kidding.

Mio: Can you recognize people around you. 

God: You are the guest host of Yes We Canada, Mio Adilman much smarter than the regular host.  I see Pi in the control room. Hi Pi. 

Pi: Hi God. 

God: and of course the regular host, what’s his name Matthew…I recognize everyone Mathew, Mark, Luke and John…good bible names boys, good bible names

MZ: Thanks…can you identify these three drawings of animals?  

God: Drawing of animals no problem…you know I did Noah’s Ark right, I know animals…

Mio: ok take your time:  What’s this?

God: Easy that a horse. 

Mio: Ok and this?

God: that’s a tiger… or an ad for Esso I’m not sure which.

Mio: And this?

God:  that’s a duck.

Mio: Ok I’m going to say five words in a row, you have to repeat them after me. 

God: repeat them after me. That was four.

Mio: No wait.

God: No wait. 

MZ: I’m just going to interject here for a sec – God, Mio is going to ask you to repeat the words in a second Standby – he (to Mio) loves broadcast terms like “standby” makes him feel like a broadcaster…

God:  Sorry – shoot…

Mio: Leg Cotton School Tomoto White

God: Leg Cotton School Tomatoe White

Mio: Good God. Is it pronounced To-ma-to or Tomato. 

God: doesn’t matter… but what is more important is it is not a hairloom tomato - it’s  airloom tomatoe . 

Mio;  Ok I’m going to read some letters whenever I get to an A you hit the desk. 

F B A C M N A A J K L B A F A K D E A A A J A M O F A A B

God :  “Oh, I’m so sorry about that…”

Mio; No, it’s good. All good.  Ok I’m going to ask you to draw a clock – the time is ten minutes after five.

God: cocktail time!  

Mio:  What’s that?

God: roman numerals on a tablet- 

Mio: Ok well you’ve done very well on the cognitive.

God. Uh huh. Yep.

Mio: but you’ve been around a while, still a lot of people question you – are you real, do you make good decisions, how can child poverty exist if you do that type of thing… …would it be fair to ask (nervous) are you um, you know, smart?

God: Mio, I’m God…smart is not the word you use …wise, sage, all seeing…stuff like that…

MZ: God I think what Mio is asking you is – you’re supposed to be ‘all knowing’ are you, like a genius? Like say, Mensa smart.

God; Well, boys, as the first creator, of course I’m omni-benevolent, which is why your crappy podcast has 20,000 downloads. I’m all knowing, in fact I’m the public intellectual in the sky. I’m also deity for fuck sakes. 

Mio: Are you a Mensa member? 

God:  Member? I started Mensa. Very democratic.  Open to everyone – (beat) who is in the in the top 2% of intelligence. Open to all. 

Mio:  Ok try to answer this question from the Mensa entrance exam.

God: Shoot.

Mio: Jane went to visit Jill. Jill is Jane’s only husband’s mother in law’s only husband’s only daughter’s, only daughter. What is Jill to Jane? 

God: Jill is very confused to Jane. 

Mio: No, Jane’s daughter. 

God: Of course, obvious. 

Mio: Here’s another one. Tabitha likes cookies not cake. She likes mutton, not lamb, okra but not squash, following the same rule will she like cherries or pears and what is Tabitha?

God:  A fussy eater.

Mio: No Tabitha only likes food with two syllables. 

SFX: phone dialing (digital 90’s- speed dial) optional see if it helps or hurts the joke

God: Hello Tabitha it’s God would you like to come to dinner Thursday night …any syllabic restrictions Tabitha? …Jesus. Whoops. You people!  Exhausting…

Mio: Ok two last questions then I have to let you go…

God: Shoot…

Mio: You’re clearly smart. How would you solve the problems in the Middle East? 

God: Simple.  Israel does not want Iran to have a nuclear bomb, so Israel tells Iran that Israel will give up their nuclear program if Iran does the same. Simple – shouldn’t take a Mensa God to figure that out.  

“Oh”, the Israelis will say; “we can’t give up our nukes the Mullahs are maniacal! The Ayatollah are assholes”. Well, I, God, would say… that after killing more than 55,000 innocent people in Gaza, attacking Iran and blowing up nuclear sites, the radiation oy, I think the government of Bibi Netanyahu also qualifies as maniacal. And don’t forget… I love the Jews, my son was Jewish, but I‘m God, I also love the innocent citizens of Iran, and the innocent citizens of Gaza who have had to endure some of the most oppressive regimes on earth…

And how do we know that the government of Iran is capable of building a bomb, really?  According to whom? The Mosad? The greatest security organization on the planet? The Mosad who had no idea about Oct. 7, 2023. Do I trust Mullahs, I do not. Do I trust the Israeli government of Netanyahu?  I do not because I do not trust religious zealots.  Bunker bustas…you know boys, starting a war – easy – ending a war?  …Not so easy.  

You boys are talking about cognition and intelligence…Trump and Secretary of Defence Pete Hegseth – these guys are free from excessive intelligence believe me and they freak about windmills, I’d love to hear them chat about radiation leakage. 

I’ve got to go and record my podcast but before I leave …did you see on the news that an Israeli hospital was hit by an Iranian bomb, which, of course, the Israeli government called a war crime which is a bit rich after they bombed all of the hospitals in Gaza.

But outside the bombed hospital in Israel, Netanyahu announced that he totally understands the horrible sacrifices of war… because, he said, his family has had to postpone their son’s wedding for the second time!

Bibi Netanyahu is a 75 year old, morally, bankrupt narcissist.  

I’m God. I’m disgusted. And I am out!

Mio: God, he’s pissed.

Matt: You can just hear him when he gets back to the office…”Nancy, honey,  get me the Mullahs, Netanyahu and Trump on line one, STAT!

Mio; Man you do a pretty decent impression of God. 

MZ:  it’s my God given gift.